Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho—the publishing industry is slow… And that is an understatement.

I’m unsure if you recall that I gave my book to that agent who wanted an exclusive. I talked about it a few blogs back, which means she doesn’t want me to send it to anyone else. I didn’t listen to some of you wise folks and agreed to let her have the first look,  putting my querying process on hold for seven weeks. Seven weeks passed, and she responded that she liked it but asked for a revision and resubmission. I did what she asked and resubmitted it (taking me another four weeks.)  She accepted, and another seven weeks went by, with her ultimately stating she was too busy to take my book on and noted a few other details to change. She said if I would like to send it out to others who have “fresh eyes,”  I should. She went on to say that I could send it to her again after the holidays if no one bit, and I wanted to make a few more changes.

First, let me say that this agent was lovely and kind, but I mean…

Now, eighteen weeks I have wasted, but I had to know, and we had an excellent report, but obviously, it was not good enough! Needless to say, I am disappointed, but that goes along with this industry and the harrowing process that is the insanity of getting a book published other than self-publishing, which is another whole process in itself.

 So many of us want the dream agent and the big publishing deal, but I often wonder at what cost. I am depleted and dark now, which takes away my creativity. I want this book on its journey to publication, ready to sore into the world, allowing me the freedom to write my third minus the marketing, advertising, launch strategy, final edits, pre-sale, early review round-up, etc.

 And so many think writing is just coming up with a great story, filling the brandy snifter, and putting it down on paper—if only.       

So why do we do this to ourselves? I personally am a masochist, so I think that’s a big part of it, but also, writers and creatives can not ‘not’ create. I am a firm believer in this. I have wanted to write since I was nine years old, and I did then for a long time, but with no one and nowhere to nurture this, I stopped and spent many years with an emptiness inside of me I couldn’t figure out. Only when I began working for a famous writer did the light come back on. And while I’d love to tell you my soul is complete, but it is just the opposite. There is always the next word, sentence, and story that tortures me, and I am sure most creatives feel the same. I believe this is why my former employer, friend, and mentor, Pulitzer-prize-winning author William Styron, said, “Writing is hell.”  But it’s the hell we wanted, and that says something.

Your heart may lead you astray, and your brain may logic you into apathy, but follow your soul, and you will be free.       —Dianne C. Braley